Little by Little

A common tool that is recommended to combat anxiety is to utilize your senses. To look for things to smell, touch, hear, and/or taste because it helps ground you in the present moment. This tool never really worked for me and I never really understood it. Sure, it would distract me for a moment, but I was merely noticing the sensations and not really feeling them, so it didn’t bring me lasting relief.

Nowadays, when I wake up in the middle of the night, I find myself focusing on the noise of the fan and our sound machine. I notice how cool the sheets feel, and how fuzzy our blanket it. This clears my mind enough to fall back asleep. When I take walks or take my lunch break, I take special notice to the flowers or the breeze rustling through the leaves. I hear the sounds of birds around me, and feel the warmth on my skin.

I realized that grounding techniques that had not provided relief in the past, were now providing me with comfort and calm and helping me to ground myself in the present moment. I started questioning what change came about that made this switch happen. Why, all of the sudden, does this work for me?

Yesterday it clicked- there wasn’t “something” that happened that flipped this switch in my brain and nervous system. Instead, it was little choices I’ve been making every day for the past few months, that have lead me to here. Each little choice has led me to a place where I can feel more grounded more quickly and easily. This is why this tool now works for me.

When on a journey of self discovery and improvement, it is easy to forget how you are making choices each day that will add up. Soon enough, before you know it, you are closer to living the kind of life you want to live and being the kind of person that you want to be. If you truly are dedicated to the journey, you arrive at the destination with each step.

Martha Beck talks about this as well. She says to make one-degree turns each day that will get you towards your dream life and your North Star. I didn’t realize that all along, this is what I’ve been doing. I know that I am focused on living a life full of integrity, but realized that I was really focused on the “goal” rather than realizing the little wins along the way.

So, from now on, I will give myself more credit when I make even small choices that I know are leading me towards my North Star. When I take a moment to notice the bees on the flowers, I will give myself credit. When I decide to take a few deep breathes when I am feeling overwhelmed, I will give myself credit. When I decide to not look at my phone while walking my dog, I will give myself credit. When I decide to do some reading before bed, you guessed it, I will give myself credit. The reality is I am making choices each day that lead me further down my path, and I deserve to give myself recognition for that.

It’s a brave things to work towards a life more aligned with your North Star. Just remember, it happens little by little, not all at once. And give yourself grace, compassion, love, and praise at each step.